I am unfortunately in "love" with a stranger. Because of this I have written this poem. :(
*My Anonymous*
Oh I have had such daring dreams
Offered images and opened seams -
To natures beauty I have thee compared
A warm summer palette
My vision impaired.
But I am forced to gaze at you from afar
A distance between us
A moment ajar
So valiant I wish to be
So audacious I dare to dream
And I begin to walk away; I turn my back
But yet you stay.
But still a fear in me resides
And still I stand here, alone outside.
For I have gone and gone and left again
And reverted to tell this story through a pen
A story of secrecy is this I hold
Because when I dream, regrets unfold.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
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As we're online mates, I have to make an effort to be objective when I read your work so that I can give you a genuine opinion.
ReplyDeleteBut honestly this is so good. You've an extremely musical flow to your writing and it's very accessible language too- which is important.
I'd have preferred the exclusion of the word "my" in the last line. It would have given more dramatic effect.
But seriously, if there was an equivalent music industry for poetry and prose- you'd have a very good record deal!
Thanking You....but honestly it is all just out of pure enjoyment. I love to do it and that people actually enjoy it is a bonus :D I am thinking of taking out that "my" now as you are right, it would be much more striking.
ReplyDeletestumbled upon your blog and am deeply moved by your poetry. you're gifted - and i'm a tough critic. this has a melodic flow to it.
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you very much Krislyn. That means so much. Thank you :D And if you would like to become a follower...please feel free.
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